iLove
by hardly-noticeable
Summary: My first Seddie fic. Set between iCarly Awards and iSpeed Date. Lots of Sam insecurities.


**Okay, so here is my first iCarly fan-fiction. Ever. If you review, be gentle. Seddie, of course. Set before the iCarly Awards and after iSpeed Date. Little angsty with lots of fluff. Standard disclaimers apply, et cetera, et cetera. Some OOC, maybe. Enjoy!**

Sam Puckett leaned back in her bean bag chair and blinked her eyes in a futile attempt to stay away. Beside her was Freddie Benson with his laptop open on his knees and a bored expression on his face. He glanced at her and smiled softly. She rolled her eyes and yawned. Freddie sighed and looked away. Why did she hate him so much? Carly Shay sighed from her pink bean bag and announced she was making a Starbucks run. Sam and Freddie both asked her to get something for them and she agreed but only if they paid. Sam searched her pockets but found nothing. She shrugged and said forget it but Freddie set his computer down, stood up, pulled out his wallet, and said, "I'll pay for yours, Sam."

"Fine. I'll try to get you back later."

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Larges, please. Want me to go with you?"

"Nope. I'll take Spencer." She leaned in and whispered, "Thanks for being so nice to Sam. She's been kind of down lately," in his ear. Then she kissed his cheek. He grinned and nodded. "It means nothing."

"Yeah, I know." She waved and left the iCarly studio happily. Sam felt her stomach clench at how pleased Freddie was after receiving just that little peck on the cheek from his precious Carly.

"Look at that. She finally kissed you. Now you can die happy." He rolled his eyes and plopped back down.

"Kill joy." She looked away and he frowned. "What's up with you? You've been acting kind of…well…nasty lately. I mean, normally you're vicious but this is a little more. You've been just plain cruel lately."

"I'm not like your perfect little Carly, Fred-dodo. Deal with it," she snapped. He frowned even deeper then grabbed her ankle out of no where. "What are you doing? FREDDIE!"

He dragged her off the bean bag until only her head was on it and pulled off her shoe.

"I'll make you tell me, Sam." Then he started to tickle the bottom of her foot. She squirmed and fought the onslaught of giggles however long she could before they burst out and she thrashed even harder. He grinned as his name mixed with her laughter, along with cries of 'let go' and 'stop'. She began to kick and he grimaced, dragging her further off the bean bag chair. He moved up to her stomach, putting his knees on either side of her hips and pinning her effectively. He grabbed her hands when she tried hitting him and pinned her wrists above her head with one hand while he tickled her with the other. Sam thrashed and laughed harder and harder until she was crying and he stopped upon seeing her tears. She sobbed out all the pain she had been feeling since she witnessed him holding Carly so tenderly as they danced and he lowered himself down on top of her in a half embrace. He knew better than to try hugging her normally. Keeping her pinned and holding her with one arm was a much safer idea. "Shh. It's okay, Sam. I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you. It's okay. You're safe with me. It's okay to cry."

"I hate you," Sam sobbed. "I hate you. I hate you." He nodded as it became her mantra and rubbed her back gently.

"That's okay. That's okay." She kept saying it and each time she did, it dug into his heart, leaving more scars on the already damaged object and opening old ones. He had to hold back his own tears. But it was okay. She could hate him. So long as she took it out on him, it wasn't festering inside and making her hate herself. He whispered that it was fine but she just kept saying that she hated him. "I know, Sam. That's fine. Hate me. That's fine."

"Of course it is. Because you don't care how I feel about you. All that matters is your precious Carly. I hate you," she sobbed passionately. He sighed and rubbed her back.

"Okay." He hid his pained expression in the crock of her neck and soon was lost in her soft scent. Her long blonde curls smelled like apples and her neck smelt like honey and cinnamon. She did love food. "I do care, Sam. Just hate me, okay? Don't hate anyone else."

She knew what he meant but it didn't matter now how much she hated herself. She hated him more. "Leave me alone. Just leave me alone."

"I can't do that, Sam. I'm here for you. That's that." He stroked her hair from her face and discovered he loved the texture of it. He ran his fingers through the blonde tresses and she closed her eyes, unwillingly leaning into his touch. "You're so beautiful. It's so sad that you don't know it."

"Pretty as Carly?"

"_Prettier_," he whispered, smiling softly at her. "You're beautiful, Sam. Don't ask me to compare Carly to you. It's like trying to compare a mortal to a goddess."

"Her being the goddess," she whimpered. He shook his head and brushed away her tears. "Yes."

"No," Freddie told her firmly. "_You're_ the goddess. Carly's plain. Ordinary."

"Then why does she mean so much to you?"

"That doesn't matter. You mean more." She whimpered and leaned up towards his lips. His heart raced and he licked his lips quickly, eager to once again taste her lips. It would be brief, he made himself promise. A quick kiss to soothe her. Then he'd pull away and let her know he understood. She needed it at that moment. She'd be better when it was over. She pressed her trembling lips to his and he released her wrists, putting one hand behind her head while the other encircled her waist. She took a second after the first two second kiss then returned to him greedily. He tried so hard to keep his promise but her taste, her feel…it was too much. He got lost in the kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth and teasing hers until she played along. When she moaned in pleasure, he lost it entirely. He tangled his fingers deep into her golden locks and forced her into an even deeper kiss. Sam's strong but slender arms came up and hung onto him as tightly as she could. They finally broke for air when their lungs felt as if they might burst.

"Again," Sam demanded. He shook his head. "Why not?"

"Too much. I need…I need to control myself. You will regret that in five seconds. You'll shove me off and tell me to go get you donuts or something. We'll never speak of it again. That's how this works. Just like with the hugs and the crying…Kissing is going too far." She took a deep breath and nodded. He stood up and pulled her up by the wrist. "What're you hungry for?"

"Bacon."

He nodded and jogged out with a mock bow. "I live to serve."

"Turkey bacon, Benson!"

"Don't count on it." He put the microwave turkey bacon in Carly's microwave then leaned against the counter and collapsed. He clutched his head but it only made his pain worse. The scent of her hair was all over his hands. Carly came in and spotted him.

"Hey. What're you doing?" He looked up at her and even then his lips tingled and tasted of Sam. She gasped when he suddenly stood up, took the drink holder, set it on the counter, and kissed her. He was good, she noticed. A fantastic kisser. He turned her around and pressed her roughly against the island. She put her hands on his shoulders and let him continue. When he pulled back, he whispered several apologies with a frustrated look on his face. She clutched the counter and nodded. "'S okay. What was that for?"

"Nothing. Just forget it. Didn't work anyway." He stared at the ceiling in frustration. Why could he still feel and taste Sam? It wasn't fair, this torture. The microwave beeped and he extracted the bacon. "You gonna be up soon?"

"Yeah. Just…give me a second. You're really good at that."

"Tell Sam that. She thinks I suck at it." She laughed and he took the drink holder up to the studio. Sam took her large iced coffee and bacon without a thank you and began to eat. He sat down with a sigh and drank his own coffee silently. Carly joined them and they resumed reviewing videos for the iCarly awards. They went on well into the night and soon, Carly was asleep. Sam could barely stay awake and her head kept falling onto Freddie's shoulder. He took a deep breath then took her hand and said, "It's okay, you know. You can put you're head there. I won't get mad."

She finally put her head on his shoulder. He clicked off the monitors and she pressed up against him once the laptop was out of her way. Freddie's heart raced and he just wanted her closer. But he had already exceeded his touching limit today. Sam sighed and looked up at him. He was staring off in Carly's direction so she figured he was watching the brunette girl sleep. "You really love her, don't you?"

"Huh? Carly?" She nodded. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I do," he lied. She sighed and rolled back to her bag. He frowned. "What'd I say?"

"Nothing. I just can't believe how big an idiot you are. She'll never love you, Freddork. Get over it already." He narrowed his eyes then did something very out of character. He grabbed her arms, hauled her to her feet, and dragged her into the elevator. She stood there silently, confused by him. He dragged her out of Carly's apartment to his and faced her. "What's going on –"

"What's wrong with you?" he shouted. His mom wasn't home, thankfully. He could yell all he wanted. "Why do you act like this? All I do is care about you, Sam! I give you _everything_ you ask for, I'm loyal, and I'm rarely violent! Why do you have to treat me like dirt?"

She looked surprised by his outburst. "I yell at you and fight back but I've never hurt you! I've never meant anything by it! Why do you have to hate me so much? I know you need to but why? WHY?"

"Freddie," she started.

"Oh so now I have a real name?" he screamed. "I thought I didn't! Why do you hate me so much?" He grabbed her arms and made he look at him. "I'm here, Sam! Look at me! Why can't you see? Why?"

"What're you talking about?"

"I LOVE YOU!" She gasped. "I don't love Carly! I love you! _Only you!_ And you treat me like I don't even exist! I exist, Sam!" He shook her and she continued to look at him in shock. "LOOK AT ME! Can't you see it? Everything I do for you? I love you!"

"But…Why? Why me? I thought…I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just wanted you to feel like I do with you. You make me hate who I am. Because I thought you loved Carly. She's so perfect." He sighed and yanked her into a tight embrace.

"No, Sam. You're perfect. I've never felt so good as when I hold you. I love you. So much. You'll never feel bad again, okay? Just stop hating me, okay?" She nodded and squeezed her eyes shut as he held her. "Don't suppose you like me a little bit, do you?"

"Mm." He sighed but nodded and held her even tightly. "I'm so tired." Slowly, Sam fell asleep in Freddie's arms despite being on her feet. He shut the door and locked it after dragging her out the door. Then he carried her back to Carly's to the studio and bundled her in a blanket on the floor. After a bit of hesitation, he lied down next to her and put on arm around her. Sam woke when he began to snore softly and Carly accidentally kicked her in her sleep. "Freddie?"

He woke immediately. "Sorry," he muttered, rolling away. She shook her head and made him embrace her again. "Okay. If that's what you want."

"Good boy," she told him with a grin. He forced a smile and held his love submissively. Of course she didn't like him or love him. She was Sam. He wasn't her type. At least she knew his feelings. That would work for the time being. If he was really good, maybe she'd let him kiss her again. "Tighter, Freddie. I won't break."

"Right." He held her even tighter and she sighed contently. "Better?"

"Much. Kiss my cheek," she ordered him. He did as told. "Now my forehead." He obeyed. "Nose." He obeyed again. "Lips." He kissed her lips and she smiled. "Where else could I make you kiss?"

"Sam, please. I'm tired," he whined. She smiled and nodded, snuggling up to him. "Don't bite me, okay?"

"I won't." He fell asleep after a while and she relaxed into slumber not long after. Carly snuck out to let them sleep but the smell of breakfast on the stove woke them thirty minutes later. Freddie started to go downstairs but Sam grabbed his arm and asked him to kiss her. He did as told but she noticed an empty look in his eyes. "It…You don't really love me, do you?"

"Yeah, I do. You have no idea how much it hurts. First with Carly and now you. And you mean so much to me. But doesn't matter to you, does it, Sam?" She smirked and pushed him against the wall. His eyes widened when she bit his neck harshly. "Ow!"

"_Mine_," she told him. A smile spread across his lips when he caught her meaning. She did love him.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Then she kissed him. He scooped her up and spun her around joyfully. She laughed and practically shoved her tongue down his throat. "Carry me downstairs?" she asked sweetly. He sighed but grinned and nodded. Carly laughed when Freddie exited the elevator carrying Sam and set her on the counter. Then they stood there making out while Carly made breakfast. "Got any bacon?"

Carly smacked Sam's hand and told her she'd have to wait. So when Carly wasn't looking, Freddie stole one, since she wouldn't be bothering to watch him, and gave it to Sam. She rewarded him with a kiss. "Hey! Sam!"

"Wasn't me!" Freddie chuckled and Sam smiled as the vibrations traveled her neck where his face was nestled. "It was my boyfriend." Carly rolled her eyes and shook her head at Sam. Freddie looked up and grinned at the blonde joyfully. "Mine."

"Very much so," he told her before he kissed her again and swung her off the counter into his arms. Carly smiled at how affectionate Freddie was with Sam and at how easily they melded into their new relationship. "All Sam's."

"Yep." She grabbed the plates and helped Carly set the table, much to Freddie's disappointment but he quickly began helping when she told him to. Spencer joined them and asked how the video selection was going. They discussed their iCarly awards nominees cheerfully, Sam and Freddie holding hands under the table as they ate. "So, does Fredward have to wear a tux? That should be entertaining."

He scoffed and took a bite of his toast. "I'm only really dreading the bow tie." Sam laughed lightly. "I have no idea how to tie those things."

"Doesn't your mom know how?" He shrugged. "Spencer can tie it for you."

"Yeah, no problem. I can teach you no problem."

"Thanks. So, you girls wearing dresses?" Carly nodded. "Cool. Sam in a dress. That should be a sight to see."

She stuck her tongue at him. "I've got a blue dress. Carly's is red."

"Yeah. Sam is going to look amazing."

"You'll look better." Freddie shook his head and kissed his love's cheek.

"You will. Love you in blue. Brings out your eyes. I love your eyes." She blushed a bit and pecked his lips. Carly squealed, jumped up, and threw her arms around them. "Carls," they shouted together in protest.

"You're just so _cute_ together! I _so_ get to plan the wedding!" Freddie and Sam exchanged looks and Spencer laughed.

"Whatever. So long as I get to eat my pork." Carly gave Sam a look and the boys grinned.

_**Finir**__**!**_** Hope you liked my fluffy snippet. Sorry it wasn't very long. Thank you so very much for reading and I hope you'll review! **


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